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    November, 2006

    如果世界一片白...


    自我反省一下,其实没有谁对谁错。
    或许我错得更多。
    我不该表现出极大的热情,也不该对那些致命的错误置之不理。
            我以为宽容能使其反省,或者做出一点点改变,岂料宽容变放纵,并一发不可收拾。
    我以为万事皆无所谓的态度是给对方空间及自由,可哲学书上曾说:世上没有绝对的自由,先知们的话总是有那么点道理的。
    我以为默默等待总会开花结果,谁知那是涩的果,或许内里烂掉,尽管外表还是光鲜漂亮的衣裳。
    我以为会成为万众瞩目的星星,可那星星暗淡无光,在七年前的夜晚已挥发掉所有的光亮。
    我以为,我以为。
    现在还是我以为,至少以为会有一通电话,至少以为会为某人牵挂,原来,什么也没有。
    不得不佩服我的感官,又一次被神经欺骗,神经的功能越演越烈,至少,整个中枢由它掌管,并井井有条。
    寄予厚望给无谓的东西,到头一场空。这是谁曾说过来着,那时的我冲晕了头脑,当她发狂。
    平静的开始,也会平静的结束。
    原以为会轰轰烈烈,不死也一哭二闹三上吊,结果,什么也没有。
    就这样沉寂下去,像外星生物消失在地球上一样。
    除了吃饭睡觉,不再研究地球的生物细胞。
    那东西不好玩,伤人也让人神伤。

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